6.22.2009

monday, monday

so i realized that without a job (or a life, for that matter) **i really have nothing to write about.** my days consist of sleeping in super retardedly late, getting up and maybe going to the gym and maybe going tanning, heading back to my house, sitting around until it's time for bed, and then going to bed to wake up late and do it all again. throw in some visits with family and friends in there and you have my typical week.

i have been searching for a job just about every single day since i haven't had one. i have tried to keep my focus in the military contracting companies because a) they seem to pay the best; b) i have experience in it; and c) i actually do enjoy it for the most part. i have applied for just about every military contracting company i can think of. **i have had a couple of interviews but nothing promising.** i have even applied overseas and in other parts of the country. nothing. i guess i should really hunker down now and expand my options.

my beau got a job working in beaumont, texas for 6 weeks on a TDY job there. he left last night at about 11pm and got there this morning at 430am. he sat in on orientation and then called me. the recruiter who hired him told him that it was $19 / hour and that hotel accomodations were taken care of. he gets there and the guy doing the new hire orientation tells him that it's actually only $9 / hour up until the first 40 hours and then only time and a half. AND they're not paying for the hotel. **i told him to come home.** he wouldn't be making any money out there cuz the guy also told him that there is no guarantee that they'd make over 40 hours in a week. and it's not like it's a desk job. **it's manual labor, people.** he'd be putting armor on MRAP vehicles. that's no easy task. he's coming home as we speak and we're going to look into a couple of different options. wish us luck!

in other news, which has nothing to do with jobs, i mowed my front and back lawn yesterday and used the edger on it. the big deal? **it is the first lawn i've ever mowed in my entire life.** growing up, the yardwork was always the boys' job. the girls worked inside the house. so i never had to do it then. after i moved out, i primarily lived in apartments and when i moved in this house, i hired a lawn service. however, since i can't really afford to pay for frivolous things right now, i have decided to become more self-sufficient. i think it looks pretty good, to be honest. i felt majorly accomplished after i was done. i would post pictures, but honestly, i didn't take any. maybe i'll do that today and add them in.

anyhow, not much else going on. just going to look online now and try to see if there are any leads for a job. cross your fingers and say some prayers for my beau and i.

**things are getting a bit desperate and i don't like feeling that way.**

6.12.2009

those lazy, hazy, crazy days . . .

oh how **i lauve the summer** . . . like i completely relish in the hot days with nothing to do. and of course, i have absolutely nothing to do cuz i have no job still. but i have been to several interviews and put out about 50 resumes, so i'm hoping that something comes up soon. but that's a different rant. this one is about summer.

having a little BBQ tonight. my good friends, sKaren and jamie, are coming over to cookout with me and my beau. i think we're going to do some steak. bake some potatoes, steam some broccoli, cut up some fresh fruit. we'll eat at the new dining room table and leave the hockey game on **on mute** in the background for them to watch and enjoy. might have a glass of sangria and watch the sun go down. afterwards, we're going to see a live band play and dance with some friends. i am looking forward to it.

there's a **sexiness that comes with summer.** i'm not sure why it only happens in the summer, but maybe it's cuz people are happier in the summer. showing a bit more skin, laughing more, relaxed more. i am looking forward to the rest of it.

**i am planning on this being my best summer yet . . . **

6.09.2009

what a lazy day!

today was filled with a bunch of **nothing.** i had big plans. gym, cleaning, yardwork, rearranging, organizing. **big big big plans.** instead, i ended up laying on the couch for most of the day watching television or playing that dang video game.

we headed to the gym this morning only to realize that after the 20-minute drive to the gate to get on post to workout, i had left my purse **and driver's license** on the entryway table at my house . . . so no workout. came home, my beau did the yard and i made breakfast. ran a few errands after that, did minimal helping on the lawn, laid on the couch. we're supposed to go walking after dinner tonight, but we'll see how that goes. was really pumped for the gym today, so i'm disappointed we didn't go. but **we will go tomorrow** for sure!

we're planning a trip to florida in july, if all works out. i really wanna lose at least ten pounds **twenty would be nice, but we'll see** before i have to get into a swimsuit. i am not a huge fan of the tankini i have now, but i can't justify buying a new one if i don't lose weight. so that's **added** motivation. we're going to see my oldest friend, erin, when we go down that way. apparently there is also a waterpark open down there that she wants to go to, so we'll get that in, also. don't worry hayley -- we also want to plan a trip that way soon, but choosing between utah and the beach? well . . . the beach won!

cooking some dinner now. third meal i've prepared today. been eating fairly healthy, so i'm proud of myself. cream of wheat and berries for breakfast, salad for lunch, cheese cubes for a snack. now cooking a turkey tenderloin, broccoli and salad for dinner. prolly some sort of fruit for dessert, if needed. and i am very proud of myself . . . mama called me tonight about some leftover pie from my birthday, and as hard as it was to say no . . . i did! **i really wanted to say yes,** but since we didn't hit the gym today, i really couldn't justify it!

anyhow, the turkey smells good, the broccoli is steaming and the salad is prepared. gonna do some of that cleaning and rearranging after dinner tonight.

**that is, if i'm not kicking my beau's booty in that blasted video game.**

6.05.2009

page layout

so i really want a new blog page layout design, but i have no idea where to find any or how to do this thing aside from using the blogspot templates. help?

6.03.2009

it's an obsession . . .

so i have this new obsession. it's called the XBox. more specifically, it's called:

**mortal kombat vs. dc comics**

or something along those lines. and while i admit that i have never been a big fan of video games before **excluding 1080 on the nintendo 64, which is still my favorite game to this day** i am currently obsessed with the aforementioned game. blame it on my beau.

he hooked up the said console to our brand new 46-inch LCD samsung flat screen TV and suddenly all the colors that were so bland and grainy on my crappy no-name-brand 27-inch box of a television were all so **vivid and pretty.** i could reach out and grab wonder woman's lasso and deathstroke's sword (and really, with a name like deathstroke, he's just begging for trouble). it was amazing how much better game graphics are (and regular television shows, i might add) on this monstrosity. and it was quite sad how quickly i fell in love with the television. and game.

**and scorpion.**

he's my chosen character. i am pretty good with him. decent on sonya, subpar on darkseid. something about scorpion gets my blood boiling, my adrenaline pumping, my talkin' a bit more of mess. as my fingers so ungracefully maneuver that little fake man around my screen kickin' booty and my mouth cries out his words of "get over here!" i realize **i am nothing short of heaven.**

apparently, i need not only a job. i need a life.

**(but in the meantime, i'm shutting this off and getting back to some booty-whoopins!)**

ramblings on a wednesday . . .

so in a few days, i will be turning 29. and it's made me reflect and think on things. i remember when i was like 16 . . . i made a list of things i wanted to have accomplished by the age of 25. consequently, i haven't accomplished any of those things: publish a book, have my master's degree, have my second book at least halfway written, travel to 25 different countries (one country for each year of my life), own a house and a car, have a dog and a man. as i looked over my list, i realized that what i wanted at 16 really isn't what i want now. sure, it would've been nice to have published two books, but i'm glad i don't have things like a dog tying me down. haha! but really, it made me take stock in things in my life and be thankful for what i do have:

**a loving family who accepts me and loves me for me. i never feel that i have to change or be someone different. even with all of my disappointments and issues, i know that i am always accepted as me.

**my gramma's house. granted, it's not mine. it is my parents' house. but i am fortunate that i'm able to live in it with a great roommate for next to nothing. my parents are understanding and we'll just leave it at that.

**friends. friends who also accept me for me and never judge. they offer opinions and advice, but in the end, they know i'll do what i want and love me for it anyway.

**starbucks. i am glad that i can go to the drive-thru every morning and order my complicated latte and i don't even have to say what i want; i just pull up, tell them it's me, and they know exactly what i want. it's nice.

**nieces and nephews. even though they're included in my family, there is something about those kids that just make me smile. everyone who knows me knows i have an aversion to kids. but when it comes to my nieces and nephews . . . that's a different story. they all get what they want from me. in terms of gifts or time. i love spending time with them and they can all make me smile. i will admit, however, that i'm glad i can send them home when i'm done with them!

**my beau. even though it's still early on in the relationship, he is the man i have always wanted to date. he is generous, kind, trustworthy, loyal, smart, fun, exciting, interesting . . . and the list goes on. he is so helpful and only wants the best for me. he considers my family his own and i am pretty sure that everyone who has met him in my family simply adores him. he is a hard-worker and has become my daddy's right hand man. as we speak, he's laboring away in the hot sun, getting the pool ready for swimming. when i asked if i could help him, he told me i'd "just get in the way," and to go inside. really i know it's because he likes to take care of me. and for once in my life, i am liking being taken care of.

**my independence. even though i am now officially "in a relationship," i am glad that i can still come and go as i please, without having to seek anyone's permission. i am happy that i can afford to pay my bills (most of the time -- thanks mama and daddy, when i can't!) and can do adult things without being scared. i like that i am okay with being alone, but that i'm not alone. i know that, in the end, if things don't end up working out between my beau and me, that i will be okay (but let's all hope that doesn't happen).

**the gym. even though i haven't worked out in months, i love that i have the option to go. one day i will be motivated again, and i will workout. i love the gym and i do love working out. sometimes it's just hard getting motivated. but i am glad that when i go back, nothing or no one judges me there. they just welcome me back and hope to see me again tomorrow. i like that.

**second chances. many times in my life, i have screwed up. but it's nice to know that everyone in my life values me enough to give me another chance. i sometimes say mean things, or do dumb things, but never mean enough or dumb enough that i can't apologize and get a second chance . . . or third . . . or fourth. i am one lucky gal.

i was thinking about what i wanted to have accomplished by the time i was 30, and i realize that no matter what material things i accomplish, in the end i just want to be happy and successful. i am happy and i'm still working on the successful part, but no matter what happens, i know i will be okay. and even if i don't accomplish my success by the age of 30, i can always push it to 35!

6.02.2009

and another reason my beau is the best . . .

he just hung curtains in my bedroom. for 3 1/2 years, i've had mismatching sheets over my windows . . . one dark blue, one green and white checked. now i have red curtains that look fabulous (pictures to be posted soon, once i get a photo-editing program).

**and he's fabulous!**

life and times . . .

so first i owe my apologies to my loyal, faithful blog readers . . . **all two of you.** i haven't written at all lately and once again, as i've said a hundred million times before, i have no excuse. i have been lazy: sleeping in late, watching television, hanging out with my family, etc. nothing really to keep me from writing. cuz once again:

**i have no job**

i have interviewed for several jobs with the company that laid me off recently: no luck. i am not exactly sure why i haven't gotten picked up and to be honest, **i'm overly irritated about it but happy at the same time.** i really don't wanna work for that company again, seeing that they lay people off with no regards to how well they do a job or anything like that. but unfortunately, i don't have many leads or options right now. unemployment doesn't pay nearly enough to live on, so i am actually considering going back to bartending. as a last resort, of course. but i am really hoping that i find something. my beau and i have applied everywhere we could think of, short of fast food joints. maybe i'm being uppity for saying this, but quite frankly, **i'm too good to work at a fast food place.** i have too many skills, too much going for me to flip burgers. we've applied overseas, underseas, by the seas . . . anywhere you can pretty much think of. and still no luck. oh wait! i forgot i do have a job. i work veryveryvery part-time at barnes & noble. one day a week here and there. i picked up a friday shift this week that i'm pretty excited about . . . that should be like $20 deposited into my account next friday! i just can't figure out why it's so hard to find something when i possess skills.

on a lighter, much happier note. my beau and i are doing great! i feel like i'm constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, but so far, it hasn't. he makes me laugh, he makes me happy, he makes me feel wanted. he even sometimes buys me things, which is nice (i admit). like this little tiny laptop i'm typing on now . . . yes, a tiny laptop. it is ridiculously cute and fun (note: i tried to post pictures but of course my new computer doesn't come with the photo program i am used to, so i have to download that; will post pics later). i am **in lauve** (with the computer). we also bought some new furniture for my house and i am excited about that. a bedroom set, a 46-inch flatscreen tv (for him, not me), dining room table, barstools. scared to say it, but i think i could see myself building a future with him. he makes me **extremely** happy . . . and not because he buys me things. a sense of humor is key . . . and i find myself always laughing. and better? i find myself smiling at random times for no reason at all. each time? i am thinking of him. **call it sappy . . . call it what you will.** i don't care; it's taken a long time for me to be this happy and i will gush about it all day long!

i went down to college station a couple of weekends ago with my beau to visit my old college friend, veronica. not sure why i haven't been down there since 2005-ish time frame, but i haven't. consequently, i fell in love with college station all over again. and so did my beau. we had a great time with veronica and we're already planning a trip back down there. her man really liked my beau and vice-versa, so **i am happy for that.** it's always better when everyone gets along.

can't really think about anything else to talk about. life is pretty boring right now. maybe i'll start writing again, now that i have this little computer to take places with me. we'll see . . .

**i'll make no promises.**