home improvement 101

so the beau and i started some various home improvement projects around the house. we decided that for right now, we'll stick with those that are low cost but that can be done in a few days. i don't know what we were thinking when we decided to redo the kitchen cabinets!

it all started because we have (or should i say "had" now) some unfinished patio furniture. it's really sturdy and made of really good quality wood, but we never did paint / stain it. plus, we rarely sit outside (cuz it's typically too hot or there are too many mosquitoes) so we have never done anything with it. however, the beau and i were talking about how we'd like to have some dinner parties or something at some point at our house, and it would be nice to have patio furniture to use. so we bought a can of stain that is a red mahogany color (which matches our inside house dining room table and barstools) and the beau went to town staining. he got it all done and it's now outside on our patio, getting crapped on by birds (which i'm not happy about).

when the beau was done, we noticed we still had about 3/4 of a can of stain left. and it was a saturday and i was in a project-doing mood, and so i came up with the bright idea to start staining the cabinets, cuz we had talked about doing it for a long time. and we took all the cabinets off (all 17 of them) and began staining. and didn't think about it being july and how hot it is. which, for painting cabinets outside isn't bad. it's just bad when the cabinet borders have to be painted INSIDE the house . . . which means the a/c goes off and the windows are opened. and that means the house gets to be about 100-degrees and you can't stop sweating and there's no relief from the fumes of the stain or the heat of the day.

and it takes a lot longer than one weekend to finish. and quite frankly, we're still not finished. we still have cabinets left to hang and i think we're also going to have to paint another coat of stain onto the cabinet borders. it ended up going so much smoother and way more quicker in my head. but i think that overall, the cabinets look good. we're now looking to see what else we can stain . . .

anyhow, here are some pictures of our almost-completed project:

july -- and possibly august & september -- home improvement project

so lately, the beau and i have been doing little "home improvement" projects around the house. nothing too pricey, but something that betters our home and is definitely noticeable. this month, we've been tackling the stainage of furniture and cabinets.

last year, we bought some new furniture for the house : bedset, dining room table with chairs, barstools. we bought it all in this beautiful mahogany red color. while i loved the dark-colored wood, the rest of the house has light furniture accents, like oak or something. and i don't like the way that it doesn't mesh. i'm sure no one else notices it, but because i'm crazy about everything matching in my house, i have noticed. we have some really nice unfinished patio furniture (thanks, daddy or chad . . . or whomever we got it from) that we decided to stain a mahogany red stain we found by minwax. we get it all stained up and head to lowe's the other day to find a sealant for it. we talk to the guy in that department and he informs us that the stain we have used on our outdoor furniture is actually for interior wood . . . which i admit, pissed me off. after all, we had gotten that specific stain based on one of lowe's employees. but the guy assured us that putting a sealant on it would help it last longer and since it sits under a covered patio and never gets direct sunlight, it should be good for years. so now my anger has subsided a little. my beau covered it in a few coats of stain and put the sealant on it. it's really nice now. but the thing is, we had half a gallon-sized can of stain left over. and what happens? we get the brilliant idea to stain the kitchen cabinets!

we start the job and finish 17 cabinets the first day. only after putting the first coat of stain on the 17, moving them to the garage to dry and putting everything away do we realize we left two cabinet doors unfinished (the ones above the fridge that we use for nothing). since we also have some drawers in the kitchen, we decided to just stain the two cabinets we missed with those. sunday rolls around and start applying a second coat to the cabinets. we only did like 12. and then the interest petered out. and guys . . . this is not good! we still have more to do, as well as the cabinet border and the backside of the cabinets! i think this is going to be a lot longer of a project than we thought. and i hope we can continue with the motivation to get it done. especially since we have the spare room furniture to stain still (my beau doesn't know we're doing that yet).

anyway, i've decided that from now on, before we jump into a "little" project, we will definitely think it through. and research it. and consider that while a project may be cheap, it's not necessarily little!

before cabinet:



after cabinet:

a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooong survey

i'm a little bored today and figured i'd bore you with a bunch of useless questions and answers **cuz i can.** and you'll read it and you'll like it. and maybe you won't and maybe i don't care. but for your reading pleasure anyway :

BASICS

Name: holly olga pritchard. okay, so maybe olga isn't my real middle name, but in high school i told everyone it was. and when i graduated and walked across the stage, they announced it as such. my mom was mad.

Date of Birth: 06/07/1980. can't believe i turned 30 this year . . . seems like i was just a teenager sneaking into the movie theater with my best friend leslie to meet up with our boyfriends, brandon and richard!

Birthplace: dothan, alabama. i left that place when i wasn't even one yet and never plan on going back. i may have been born in alabama, but i'm a texas girl at heart!

Current Location: killeen, texas. it's home.

Eye Color:


Hair Color: well, at the moment, i have brown trailer park roots with blonde ends. one day i'll make it back to my stylist and get my hairscut and have it highlighted, as well. in the meantime, i wear it in a ponytail every day in an attempt to disguise my horrible roots!

Height: 5'6 1/2" . . . "sometimes a girl needs a half."

Heritage: you know, every time i talk to my siblings or parents about this, my heritage changes. i think there is quite a bit of dutch and maybe some german or english. and of course, some sort of native american and maybe even some finnish or something. i think it's just easier to say i'm american.

Piercings: nope. no longer. my body rejects all metals.

Tattoos: oh tattoos. i do have four of them, and i must admit, i regret the days i got each of them. being young and dumb has left a permament "scar" on me.

FAVORITES

Band/Singer: this is a loaded question. i have so many favorites that i'd never be able to narrow it down to just one. at the moment, i'm loving tom petty. ask me tomorrow, however, and i may tell you talib kweli.

Song: again, way too many answers. however, i will say i *love* to sing fleetwood mac's "everywhere" to my beau. i absolutely love that song; he abhors it.

Movie:


no other movie has ever brought me so much joy and made me happy when i was sad. i love singing along and quoting it. makes me even happier when all my sisters and sisters-in-law quote and sing with me. when the movie isn't playing. simply to annoy my brothers and brothers-in-law.

Disney Movie: i always loved "peter pan" growing up.

TV show: right now, the beau and i are hooked on all sorts of shows like "river monsters," "modern family," "the office" and "i survived." we don't get to watch TV often, but we do DVR quite a few to pass the time when we do!

Color: charcoal grey. i have been told several times that that is not a color, but rather a shade. really, though -- is there that big of a difference?

Food: oh so many answers, so little time and space to write them all. food and i are friends. there isn't much i won't try. aside from sushi. the thought of it makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

Pizza topping: black olives, onions, bell pepper and pepperoni, please.

Ice-Cream Flavor: hmmm . . . for all of you *not* in texas or who do not HEBs in your area, i will say mint chocolate chip. those of you who do have HEBs in your area and have had the pleasure of eating creamy creations ice cream, i'm going with nutty chocolate sugar cone. or something like that. little explosions of heaven in your mouth.

Drink: triple tall sugarfree vanilla breve latte. i once tried to give them up, but just couldn't part ways. they are just that good.

Coke: let me preface this answer by saying this question was asking me my "favorite soda." however, no one in texas calls it a soda. and so i had to change it to make sense for all my fellow texans ;) and with that, i'll say dr pepper.

Store: sadly, my favorite store has changed from a fashion store to a grocery store. yes people. today, on my blog, i declare HEB to be my most favorite store. ever. nothing is quite as heavenly as that place.

Clothing Brand: i go back and forth on this one. usually, it's gap. but since becoming poor lately, it's gone back to old navy. essentially the same thing; gap just costs more and has somewhat cuter clothes. sadly, however, the quality is the same. and it's becoming harder and harder for me to justify spending $44 on a shirt. i never thought i'd see the day that i said that.

Shoe Brand: depends on what i am using the shoe for. working out it's either nike or new balance. when i played soccer, it was adidas. flip flops are whatever is comfortable. no jimmy choos or anything like that for me; those would cost me a month's paycheck.

Season: fall. nothing like fall in texas. and hayley -- i know you say there are no seasons in central texas, but believe me . . . someone from here knows the difference between summer and fall. it goes from being hot hot hot to just hot.

Month: i don't know why, but i have always loved october. it has nothing to do with halloween, cuz that is my least favorite holiday. we don't even pass out candy or open the door. we just sit at home and ignore the doorbell.

Holiday: this is a tough one. i love christmas because of all the good memories i have associated with it. it's not quite a big deal anymore now that i'm grown. maybe the first time we have the kids on christmas morning it will be a bigger deal. but i really love the fourth of july. i love the fireworks and the BBQing and the time spent with friends and family. plus, i'm a patriot and am in love with america and all that we are afforded in this country. i am so thankful for the freedoms i have.

Flower: my favorite flower has always been the star-gazer lily. my wedding bouquet (yes, for those of you who have forgotten : i was once married) was made of them. but lately, i have loved the hibiscus. maybe because we bought a pretty red one from lowe's and it has actually survived all summer under my care (which is a miracle in itself). i love them.

Make-Up Item: it's funny. i always remember my gramma telling me growing up that a lady doesn't leave the house without putting on makeup. even when she was near the end of her life and didn't leave the house much, when she did, i helped her powder her nose, rouge her cheeks and color her lips. and for the longest time, i believed that sentiment and you wouldn't catch me anywhere without makeup. except maybe the gym. but now, it seems like i'm always running late and quite frankly, i'm not looking to impress anyone. and the first thing to go was my makeup. i keep reminding myself that a lady never leaves the house without it, but then i also rationalize it that i'm more of a tomboy than a lady. but if i had to choose, i would say mascara. it makes me feel complete when i do wear it.

Board game: hmmm . . . it's a toss-up between clue and scrabble. i'm good at both. quite frankly, any game is my favorite as long as i win.

THIS or THAT

Sunny or rainy: definitely sunny. rainy is only good when you don't have to leave the house and have plenty to do on the inside.

Chocolate or vanilla:


Fruits or vegetables: i like both, but am a bigger fan of vegetables. but they have to be cooked.

Night or day: night cuz day means i have to be at work.

Sour or sweet: hmmm, between the two, i'll choose sweet. but i'd rather choose salt.

Love or money: why does it always have to be one or the other? why can't it be both?

Phone or in person: either works for me.

Looks or personality: again, why can't it be both? my beau has both.

Coffee or tea: coffee. tea is bad for you.

Hot or cold: inbetween. summers in texas are too hot and the winters are too cold. i want fall year round.

YOUR

Goal for this year: lose 40 pounds (refer to two posts below this one)

Best physical feature: well that all depends on who you ask. i like my booty, but i'm sure my dad will tell you something different!

First thought waking up: SNOOZE!

Hypothetical personality disorder: hmmm . . . either OCD or anxiety.

Preferred type of plastic surgery: i don't prefer any. the less time spent under the knife, the better. i'm not trying to die anytime soon.

Sesame street alter ego: i guess big bird since i'm the boss ;)

Fairytale alter ego: none . . . most fairytale characters are waiting on their prince charming to come and take care of them. while i love my beau, i am capable of taking care of myself.

Worst crime: i hope there are no cops reading this. i was once involved in a hit-and-run. i was 17 at the time and scared to death. it took place in my mom's van and i hit a little tiny chevette. moved it to another parking space. i never stopped and lied for years about it to my parents. i still can't believe i did that.

Greatest ambition: to be successful.

Greatest fear: dying young and dying alone. would be even worse if i died young and alone.

Darkest secret: i really can't think of any dark secrets.

Favorite subject


Worst habit: my inability to delegate at work. i'm trying to be better at it, but i still feel guilty when i ask someone else to do the work that i'm ultimately responsible for.

DO YOU

Smoke: nope. nasty habit.

Drink: rarely. and i mean that, mama and daddy.

Curse: i really try hard not to. especially since we have kids around a lot more often now. usually i will if i hurt myself. or i'm super incredibly mad. but otherwise, i say thinks like "blast" or "crikey" or "bastard!" (which mama, is not really a curse word).

Shower daily: sometimes twice.

Like thunderstorms: as long as they don't knock my power out, i'm fine with them.

Sing: much to the chagrin of my beau, i do. and i sing loud and horribly. and he secretly loves it when i do.

Play an instrument: i can pick a tune or two out on the piano. i used to be really good at it. and the french horn. now? not so much.

Get along with your parents: swimmingly. i am happy to say that my relationship with my parents is a complete 180 from how it was when i was a teenager. i talk to my mama just about every day and we see them quite often during the week. they do a lot for me and i could never thank them enough.

Wish on stars: only on shooting stars.

Believe in fate: yes and no.

Believe in love at first sight: no. i'm a realist. that's called lust, people.

CAN YOU

Drive: yes, but i'm what you'd call a distracted driver. and so i don't drive often.

Sew: not at all. not even a button. i guess in theory i could sew on a button if i had to, but i just let my beau take care of all that. he used to be in the marines, so he says it was required of him to do that.

Cook: i can.

Speak another language: only a little bit of restaurant spanish, and that might not even be the case anymore since i haven't worked in a restaurant in years.

Dance: of course. although i haven't done it in a long time.

Sing: not at all, but that doesn't stop me from pretending i can!

Whistle: not well. barely at all.

Curl your tongue: yep.

HAVE YOU EVER

Been Drunk: more times than i can remember or am willing to admit to.

Been Stoned/High: not unless you can count my ambien highs. never been high on any sort of illegal drug.

Eaten Sushi: i think i have tried eel before with my sister. she thought i'd like it cuz it's salty. i couldn't get passed the texture. i settled on teriyaki chicken.

Been in Love: sure, why not?

Skipped school: i almost didn't graduate cuz i missed so much school my senior year. we used to go shopping in austin. leave at 8am and get back in time for the final bell at 401pm. those were the days.

Made prank calls: not recently. everyone has caller ID now. and no one answers blocked calls, so it would be no fun.

Sent someone a love letter: ah, back in the days. now i just facebook my beau and tell him i love him. how romantic, right?

Stolen something: just a few hearts ;)

OTHERS

What annoys you most in a person?
*i think lying annoys me the most. i hate when people lie to me.

Are you right- or left-handed?
*right handed.

What is your bedtime?
*sadly, it's like 830pm. i take my ambien at 8pm and am usually falling asleep 30 minutes to an hour later. yes, i know the sun is still out at 8pm. what can i say . . . i'm an old lady.

Name three things you can't live without:
*coffee, bottled water, phone

What is the color of your room?
*tan and red (more specifically, ponytail and bangkok rust)

Do you have any siblings?
*i have enough siblings for me and you. seven total.

Do you have any pets?
*i'm ashamed to admit that i am now a pet owner. his name is inspektor phinneas von owens, III. he is a miniature pinscher. he is 11 months and way too hyper:



Would you kill someone you hate for a million dollars?
*i don't really hate anyone that i can think of, so i'm not sure i'd be able to kill someone for a million. however, i might be able to break someone's legs for a million. i'd just make sure to pay their medical bills.

What are you nicknames?
*you know, i don't really have a lot of nicknames. my mama calls me holly dolly or hol dol. my dad calls me pumpkin or squirt. and my beau calls me babe usually.

Are you for or against gay marriage?
*i'm not about to tell anyone who they can or can't love, nor am i going to get into this topic here on my blog.

What are your thoughts on abortion?
*whatever my thoughts are, they are my thoughts. and again, i don't feel like sharing them. buh-bye.

Do you have a crush on anyone?
*oh, i do. have you ever seen "river monsters" on animal planet? if so, then you know who jeremy wade is. and that's my crush. and before you go and criticize me for having a crush on someone other than my beau, know this : he has a man-crush on him, too, so it's okay.

Are you afraid of the dark?
*negative . . . the darker the better.

How do you want to die?
*happy.

Would you take a bullet for the one you love?
*oooh . . . as much as i love my beau, i love myself more. so no. i'd be sad if he were shot, but this is survival of the fittest, people!

What is the last law you’ve broken?
*ummmm, driving from my mama's house to my house with no seatbelt on.

What color shirt are you wearing?
*white

Name three things that are physically close to you:
*laptop, bottled water, cellphone

What is the last book you read?
*

Are you or were you a good student?
*i don't know that i was necessarily a good student; i just picked up easily on things and knew random things. i also learned good study techniques which came in handy. especially for those days i slept in class.

What's your favorite sport?
*to play:


to watch:


Do you enjoy sleeping late?
*oh how i love it! i actually slept til 11am on saturday and 10am on sunday. it was marvelous!

What's the weather like right now?
*

Who tells the best jokes?
*you know, he may not tell the best jokes and quite frankly, he's prolly one of the worst joke tellers i've heard tell a joke, but my little brother (scott) wins this category. the kid can tell an entire joke and forget the punchline. gotta love it.

What was the last thing you dreamed about?
*the last thing i remember dreaming about was my dad and me smoking the biggest blunt you've ever seen. it was a swisher sweet stuffed full of weed. and huge. and we were very high.

Do you collect anything? If so, what?
*i collect cash. if you're interested in donating to my collection, hit me up. i have plenty of room to add yours to mine.

Are you proud of yourself?
*i'm proud of what i have accomplished, but i do think i should have accomplished more by now.

Are you reliable?
*i really try to be.

Have you ever given money to a bum?
*that i have. however, since i started watching "intervention," i have a hard time giving money to them. i'd rather buy them a meal than give them cold hard cash.

What's your favorite invention?
*hmmm . . . this is a good question. there are so many i love, but i am going to have to say an espresso maker!

Is your room messy?
*i prefer the word cluttered. and it's mainly cuz we don't have any shelving in my room. if i had it, it would be a lot less cluttered, for sure.

What do you like better: oranges or apples?
*

Do you give in easily?
*um, i do when i'm guilted. and my mama can give a mean guilt trip!

Do you have a job?
*i do . . . and i think i like it.

What time did you wake up this morning?
*late. way later than usual. had to rush.

What did you eat for breakfast this morning?
*um, i didn't exactly eat breakfast. i came to work and had every intention of eating; however, my yogurt expired on 8 July.

What's your favorite day of the week and why?
*i am a big fan on the weekend. i used to love tuesdays, but now i have to work on tuesdays. i'll say sundays because we get to eat at mama's house and see the family.

Would you ever go skydiving?
*i don't think i would. i prefer to keep my feet on the ground.

What toothpaste do you use?
*colgate total. sometimes gel, sometimes paste. sometimes whitening, sometimes not. really depends on if it's on sale.

Do you enjoy challenges?
*i enjoy being told i'll fail when i know i'll succeed.

What's the worst injury you have had?
*concussion in the ninth grade. the only game my daddy was ever late for. and he missed the whole thing. however, he did stay most of the night in the hospital with me.

What's the last movie you saw?
*we watched "the bounty hunter" the other day. one of the worst movies i've seen in a long time.

What does your last text message say?
*"okay" from my beau. he was asking me for a grocery list and i told him i hadn't made one.

What is your dream vacation?
*at this point, any vacation is my dream vacation. i'd love to go to italy, hawaii or puerto rico. hopefully we'll do all three in the next three years.

What is your favorite animal?
*any animal i don't have to take care of.

Do you need to do laundry?
*that i do, even though my beau just did it friday. i am out of jeans.

Do you listen to the radio?
*only my iPod or pandora.

Where were you when 9/11 happened?
*

What color are your bed sheets?
*the ones on my bed now are dark brown. i try to keep the same colors throughout all of my house, including the sheets.

What's your ringtone?
*depends on the person. most are the generic, iPhone xylophone ringtone. my mom's is stewie from "family guy;" little brother's is "encarnacion" from nacho libre; colby's (my nephew) is "have you ever seen the rain?" by CCR; daddy's is "california dreamin'" by the mamas and the papas; my beau's is "jammin'" by bob marley; heather's is "tarantula" by bob schneider.

Do you watch cartoons?
*never on purpose. whenever we have the kids, a lot of cartoons filter onto the TV. and it sucks. unless it's phinneas and ferb, which i think is funny. but i hate spongebob now.

Do you hold grudges?
*oh how i wish.

the passing of the celica . . . and horsepills

so when i went away to college in my early twenties, i was the proud owner of a 1981 ford ranger F100. nowadays, a ranger is a tiny truck that really has no purpose, i don't think. but back in 1981, it was a bad ass truck . . . very big and bulky and made all of metal. i ran over things and ran into things and never once dented my truck. it had an oil leak that was so bad that i literally carried a case of oil in the bed of the truck. every morning, i popped the hood and poured an entire bottle of oil into the engine; repeated this ritual just about every single morning for the year or two i owned this truck. it had the original push / knob radio, a cloth bench seat and most importantly, it could hit about 65mph tops when it was warmed up. it took me all over college station and back and forth to and from killeen on weekends i didn't have to work.

and then one day, it suddenly became unreliable. the leak got worse and worse and it started to have trouble making the trip back and forth from college to home and back. i was a poor college student, though . . . worked a full-time job, went to school full-time but still never had enough money to do much of anything. and in stepped my father.

he had gone onto the "lemon lot" on fort hood a few times over the months i had been having car trouble and he found a sporty little toyota celica for me. the GI selling it was getting ready to deploy and he really just wanted to sell it. one guy offered him $2000 cash; Daddy offered him a $1500 check with a sob story about his daughter in college. needless to say, daddy got the car. he and mom drove it down to college station one weekend and we traded cars. he got my truck to take home and use for his pool business; i got a reliable, sporty (albeit somewhat ugly and banged up) celica to cruise around town in. i loved it instantly.

my friends and i had great adventures in that car when i was in college. one summer, between spring and summer semesters, my best college friend (veronica) and i hopped into the celica and took a week and a half road trip to california. we had never been and it seemed like a good idea. we got out of texas and into new mexico the first night; onto california the second day. we hit the beach and knew we were styling in my sports car, whom by now i called Celi (pronounced 'Selly'). after our week in cali was up, veronica and i loaded celi back up and made the long trek back to texas. we even outran a cop on the new mexico border into el paso. my celi was the shiznit.

a few years and a few wrecks later, my poor celi was no longer as fast as she once was, and was even uglier than she was when i got her. mismatched -- and later, i found out, not even the same sized -- tires seemed to help add to the flats and blow-outs i had often. i had a blow out on one of the tires one night in a rain storm on my way to see my college boyfriend. i sat on the side of the road for over an hour waiting on him to come get me. he finally did and ended up dumping me that weekend. perhaps celi was trying to prevent me from going down there that weekend, from getting my heartbroken. it was definitely an omen. but i lived and learned, i suppose.

celi made it's way back home with me to killeen and we both settled nicely into my parents' house. one morning, someone broke into my car and stole the only nice thing i had in the car -- my sony XPLODE sound system my parents' had paid for and had installed in my car not even a year prior for my birthday. i drove around for a long time with cardboard and duct tape on the back window before my brother pulled a favor from someone and they fixed my window for me. and then there were wrecks and soon the bumper was falling off and the trunk didn't open. it was a mess.

one afternoon, i took it into the mechanic (the same mechanic we have used for like 20 years) and i was told i would be better off buying a new car rather invest in fixing everything that was wrong with it. and so, i faced a dilemma because i didn't have money to buy anything. my brother, again, stepped in and helped me buy a 2000 dodge stratus from a major on post who had used the car for the live-in nanny he employed. he wanted $8000 for it, and quite frankly, he could've prolly gotten more for it than that; we offered $5000 and he took it. and then suddenly i had this stratus and my celi was no longer needed.

fast forward a few months to me being out of a job for one reason or another and suddenly i'm $600 behind on the rent i owed my parents. at this time, dad's van was in bad bad bad shape and he was looking for a beater to get him around, to and from work, etc. in stepped celi. daddy and i agreed that i would essentially "sell" him celi for the $600 i owed him and then the love affair of celi and my daddy began.

for years they went all over town. and they broke down all over town. but dad managed to get things fixed on it little by little -- nothing aesthetic, of course. my daddy's theory on cars is that it is a tool. no need to have something pretty when you're just gonna run it into the ground anyway. and believe me, it was run into the ground -- and quite a bit of poles, too -- and about on it's last leg.

mom and daddy decided they needed new cars eventually. one got a camry, one got a corolla . . . and like that, celi was the red-headed stepchild no one wanted. she has sat in dad's driveway for a few months now, never running, never moving. nothing. he and mom finally decided to call a charity and have it donated but then i intervened.

my beau and i have been looking for a car for him to use to get to and from school, and to serve papers. we had been sharing the stratus for a few months now : he drops me off at work in the morning, and picks me up at lunch so i can take him to school and take the car back to work. after work, i pick him up from school and we would serve papers in it. problem with that is, my stratus isn't the most gas-efficient car out there. and surprisingly, the celica is. and so i asked dad if i could re-own the stratus from him. i didn't wanna pay anything for it aside from the fees to change the title over to our name and to pay any taxes on it. ended up costing $100.60. about $100.60 more than i wanted to pay, but at least now we have a second means of transportation.

and although it's his car and he'll be the one driving it, my beau asked me not to ever mention that. he usually has the same theory my daddy has on cars -- that they're just tools. but today, we took it for a ride around the block and to get it washed, and we were both thoroughly embarrassed by it. blue smoke pours out of the back pipe thing and it smells bad. we took it to the carwash to see if that would help, but after we were done washing, we realized it was still an ugly car. and so i decided, at that moment, to take the proud owner approach and post pics of my beauty. and without further ado, here she is, MSSSSSSS. CELI!









and my absolute favorite, cuz it shows the seat cover:



and PS : when did the pharmaceutical companies start making pills the size of a horse suppository? this is a picture of my calcium pill, which i am required to take since i'm on the b/c shot, compared to my sleep and anxiety pills. it's huge:



hopefully tomorrow's post will be a lot more interesting than tonight's. i'll be posting all about our home improvement projects! i know, you just can't wait!

this little piggy had roast beef . . .

it's a hard realization to accept being fat. and i'm not one of those skinny jerks who looks in the mirror and sees fat when there is none. i am genuinely big. like over 200 pounds big and prolly about twenty more than that. no one can tell me i'm not fat and make me believe it.

the size 16 clothes i tried on -- or should i say attempted to try on -- that were way too tight told me i'm fat. all of my size 14 pants i tucked away neatly for later use a few months ago told me i'm fat. my mirror told me i'm fat. and i'm finally listening.

last year -- a mere 14 months ago -- i was 40 pounds lighter. yes, FORTY pounds. how does a person gain that much weight in just over one year? how has my body not imploded (or rather, exploded) from the sheer force of an extra forty pounds? how have i been okay with this all this time? why do i seemingly not care?

i believe that over the last year, i have rationalized my weight gain. last year started off fantastically. i was forty pounds lighter, for one, and was the smallest, and more importantly, the healthiest i have been since i played soccer in high school. i felt great. full of energy and life! i worked out monday-friday and ate healthy. and even when i ate unhealthily, i was able to balance that with exercise. and when i had one bad day, i made sure i had at least five good days.

now my one bad day has turned into 14 months of bad days, with maybe five good days in there total.

last year, i met a man. i'm not blaming him, however, as i realize he can't force me to eat what i have eaten. i do know i am happy with him. and with that happiness has come complacency and relaxation. i finally feel like i have met someone who is just about perfect for me and i have reveled in that. i stopped caring about what i looked like cuz, after all, i found someone who loved me for me and told me i was beautiful at a size 10, size 12, size 14, and tonight, even more than a size 16. but honestly, who wants a fat mate?

i have always been very aware of my weight. i have known that carbs cause me to gain, and so for years i avoided sweets and tried to limit them to a healthy number daily. to me, it was never a big deal and i never craved sweets. i never bought them and never ate dessert at sunday dinner. however, within the last year or so, i started giving in to someone's birthday cake or someone else making homemade brownies or bringing over creamy creations ice cream. and i have indulged, believe you me. it's even become the joke at my parents' house on sunday nights for me to say, "well, tomorrow i start my diet." i say it every sunday. and i've realized that in the last year, when i meant it before, now i just say it for laughs. i know that deep down i haven't had intentions of a diet for a long time now.

my sister-in-law, whom i won't name for purposes of privacy, once mentioned something about "having a food baby." you know . . . when you eat so much at a meal that your tummy pooches out and no matter what, you can't suck it in and you look pregnant. sadly, this has become a joke in my relationship for awhile now. every night, i lay on the bed and rub my belly and talk to my food baby to make my beau laugh. and we laugh together. really, it's upsets me, but i know if i laugh about it, i can make myself feel better about it.

i have really noticed how fat i am here recently because i have noticed how well my daddy is doing on his diet. he had gastric bypass surgery last month after struggling for years with his weight. it seems like every time i see him, he is skinnier and skinnier and can fit into clothes he, literally, hasn't worn in years. and that's when i realize i'm no longer fitting into clothes i have worn for years. i'm growing out of everything. and quite honestly, neither my ego nor my wallet can afford that.

i must point out that i didn't write this blog for people to feel sorry for me, to tell me i look great, to lie to me. i wrote this because i need to face the fact that i am fat. that i am unhealthy. i am lethargic and, i admit it, lazy. i can't remember the last time i exercised or the last time i ate something not smothered in some sort of sauce or gravy or butter. i wrote this because i want everyone to hold me accountable for my actions as i need to hold myself accountable. and i won't be cheesy and say something like, "and so, on this blog, i vow to lose weight!" but i will say i am going to do my damndest to be healthier. i will do my damndest to exercise. i will do my damndest to make better decisions for myself.

my goal is to lose forty pounds in the next year. i figure that's a realistic goal. i mean, if i gained forty in a year, i should be able to lose that much in a year. after all, my sister lost 100 pounds in a year from exercise and eating healthy.

secretly, my real goal is to be able to wear a bikini next july and not have the fabric be lost in the rolls of my fat. because believe me, it's not a pretty sight.