so in a few days, i will be turning 29. and it's made me reflect and think on things. i remember when i was like 16 . . . i made a list of things i wanted to have accomplished by the age of 25. consequently, i haven't accomplished any of those things: publish a book, have my master's degree, have my second book at least halfway written, travel to 25 different countries (one country for each year of my life), own a house and a car, have a dog and a man. as i looked over my list, i realized that what i wanted at 16 really isn't what i want now. sure, it would've been nice to have published two books, but i'm glad i don't have things like a dog tying me down. haha! but really, it made me take stock in things in my life and be thankful for what i do have:
**a loving family who accepts me and loves me for me. i never feel that i have to change or be someone different. even with all of my disappointments and issues, i know that i am always accepted as me.
**my gramma's house. granted, it's not mine. it is my parents' house. but i am fortunate that i'm able to live in it with a great roommate for next to nothing. my parents are understanding and we'll just leave it at that.
**friends. friends who also accept me for me and never judge. they offer opinions and advice, but in the end, they know i'll do what i want and love me for it anyway.
**starbucks. i am glad that i can go to the drive-thru every morning and order my complicated latte and i don't even have to say what i want; i just pull up, tell them it's me, and they know exactly what i want. it's nice.
**nieces and nephews. even though they're included in my family, there is something about those kids that just make me smile. everyone who knows me knows i have an aversion to kids. but when it comes to my nieces and nephews . . . that's a different story. they all get what they want from me. in terms of gifts or time. i love spending time with them and they can all make me smile. i will admit, however, that i'm glad i can send them home when i'm done with them!
**my beau. even though it's still early on in the relationship, he is the man i have always wanted to date. he is generous, kind, trustworthy, loyal, smart, fun, exciting, interesting . . . and the list goes on. he is so helpful and only wants the best for me. he considers my family his own and i am pretty sure that everyone who has met him in my family simply adores him. he is a hard-worker and has become my daddy's right hand man. as we speak, he's laboring away in the hot sun, getting the pool ready for swimming. when i asked if i could help him, he told me i'd "just get in the way," and to go inside. really i know it's because he likes to take care of me. and for once in my life, i am liking being taken care of.
**my independence. even though i am now officially "in a relationship," i am glad that i can still come and go as i please, without having to seek anyone's permission. i am happy that i can afford to pay my bills (most of the time -- thanks mama and daddy, when i can't!) and can do adult things without being scared. i like that i am okay with being alone, but that i'm not alone. i know that, in the end, if things don't end up working out between my beau and me, that i will be okay (but let's all hope that doesn't happen).
**the gym. even though i haven't worked out in months, i love that i have the option to go. one day i will be motivated again, and i will workout. i love the gym and i do love working out. sometimes it's just hard getting motivated. but i am glad that when i go back, nothing or no one judges me there. they just welcome me back and hope to see me again tomorrow. i like that.
**second chances. many times in my life, i have screwed up. but it's nice to know that everyone in my life values me enough to give me another chance. i sometimes say mean things, or do dumb things, but never mean enough or dumb enough that i can't apologize and get a second chance . . . or third . . . or fourth. i am one lucky gal.
i was thinking about what i wanted to have accomplished by the time i was 30, and i realize that no matter what material things i accomplish, in the end i just want to be happy and successful. i am happy and i'm still working on the successful part, but no matter what happens, i know i will be okay. and even if i don't accomplish my success by the age of 30, i can always push it to 35!
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Dang, that last one was so nice I almost cried. (man tears of course,
ReplyDeletelol). You really are a good writer. I don't know why that is surprising.
I guess its not the fact that you're a good writer that's as surprising
as the fact I don't mind telling you. :)
I am glad you finally found someone special. I knew you could find
someone that would treat you like you should be treated and I am always
glad when I am right. Not that you ever "argued" the point with me, just
sayin is all.
Starbucks still sucks grande mocha latte
kev . . . thanks for the writing compliment. means a lot coming from you, since most of the time, all i get from you is insults! hahaha . . . kidding. and i am glad i found him, too. i am happy beyond belief. never thought it would happen, but i am also glad that i can say that you were right. this one time.
ReplyDeleteand you're crazy . . . starbucks is amazing!
I always though making those lists was kind of silly. I don't think I've ever made one. I make goals, but only ones that I know I can work on right now. & I usually only make them if I know for sure I can do it. It's nice that you can look at the list, though, and realize you are happy with your life now, even if it doesn't match your list. I'm sure you will accomplish great things in your life, and it doesn't have to be by a certain age! Don't limit yourself like that!! You man sounds so nice, I'm really excited that you have him in your life.
ReplyDeleteGood post! I had to chuckle when you mentioned your appreciation for Starbucks.
ReplyDeleteYou deserve nothing but the best, my dear.
They aren't insults, it is constructive criticism... Maybe I could work on the delivery. Naw.....
ReplyDeletevanessa . . . we had to make that list when i was like fifteen or sixteen in class . . . mia maids, i think! something about longterm and short-term goals. had it tucked neatly away in my journal and found it the other day when i was going through some crap. at least then i knew i didn't want any kids (haha)!
ReplyDeletehayley -- you just KNOW i had to mention starbucks! i only had one triple coffee today and i have been dragging my booty around all day trying to stay awake! i should be in bed right now, but i am too tired to walk from my couch to my bed (although my new bed is my new favorite place to be). so so so sad!
and kev -- it wouldn't be the same if you didn't deliver them the way you do. i just always remember to swallow your advice with a grain of salt!