oh to be independently wealthy!

so **i have interviewed for two jobs in the past three days.** that is very exciting news, considering i haven't had any interview in the past, um, who knows how many weeks! i am fairly confident i will be receiving a call from at least one of them, and i really hope it's for the one i want! so until then, everyone keep your fingers crossed, knock on wood and all that other superstitious crap people do, okay?

i realized when i was getting ready for the interviews that **i really have no interview clothing** to wear. step in my best friend, leslie, and clothes she bought ages ago for interviews she never went on. i had stopped out at her place last week to see her, mags and little sophie and happened to mention the interviews i was supposed to go on this week and how i had no clothes for them between talking about whatever it is we were talking about. she disappeared to her bedroom and popped back out with a brown linen suit (which, by the way, is a horrible thing to iron but so cute when worn) and a cute white blazer (which, by the way, i never wore to the interview cuz it needed to be dry-cleaned and i never got around to dropping it off there). of course, we started talking again and i left and forgot the clothes. ended up having to race to her house monday morning to get them for the interview at 11am, that was set-up that morning at 9am. gotta love the organizational skills of that one . . . i just hope that's not indicative of how the job will be, seeing that that interview was with the company i really wanna work for.

during said interview, i was informed that the dress code would be "business casual," although i was already quite aware of that because my beau works on the same contract, albeit with a different company. going through my closet that night, i realized that i have absolutely no business casual attire. no polos, no button-ups that really fit, nada. the thing is, i hate wearing button-up shirts in the first place. **button-ups belong on men or lesbians,** both of which i am not. not sure when i started thinking they belonged on lesbians, but it prolly happened around the time i worked at olive garden and was forced to wear black slacks, white button-up shirt, tie, and my hair pulled back. every time i looked in the mirror when i wore that uniform, i swear there was a man staring back at me. and ever since then, it has been a difficult thing for me to wear button-up shirts. i realize i do own a few, but those, or any new ones, will definitely not be going into my business casual attire. not unless there are frills or ruffles, so that i can feel more like a woman and less like a man (even though, admittedly, i am not sure i would be comfortable in frills and ruffles). all i know is, i am going to have go to shopping at some point soon after i get hired.

on a somewhat unrelated note, i have been unsuccessful in convincing myself to go back to the gym. oh how i have tried to tell myself it's time to get up and go at 630am when my beau leaves for work, but honestly, i'm not getting up that early for anything unless i'm getting paid to! and so i always roll over, turn off any alarms and go right back to sleep. until i wake up, whenever that may be. typically, it's mid-afternoon and i convince myself i have things to do, errands to run or people to see and so i must pass up the gym. i think back to how i used to get up EVERY morning at 5am, come hell or high water, and trek the 20 minutes one way to the gym, work out for a good two hours, come home, shower, change and go to work. and then go back for another two hours in the afternoon after work. what was i thinking?!?! actually, i know that i looked better then and that i was happier with myself then. but for the life of me, i cannot convince myself that that is a good idea for me to do anymore. i just come up with excuses. i am hoping that once i start working again (whenever that will be), i will get back into some sort of routine and head straight to the gym after work. until then, **i am going to stop lying to myself** and everyone else and face the fact that right now, the gym and i are no longer friends. we might reconcile one day, but today is not that day. happy? i know i am.

one thing i am looking forward to about this job i really want and hope i get, is the benefits! it has been so long since i had a job that offered REAL benefits. granted, they only pay 80% of medical, but that is better than nothing! i will also get full dental (which is awesome cuz i have that blasted cavity i still have to get filled and then maybe i can get braces on my bottom teeth again to fix that one tooth that is out of line (yes, i'm OCD about my teeth)) and have the option of enrolling in a 401k (which is awesome and or course i'm doing). i am so excited about said benefits -- medical, mostly -- cuz i have been sick recently. not sure what is going on, but every single time i eat ANYTHING, i get sick. and i mean S-I-C-K. spending hours in the bathroom, not sure if i'm going to puke or let it come out the other end (sorry for being somewhat mildly graphic there, but i needed you all to get the point). and this happens in the middle of the night sometimes, hours after i've eaten, for hours at a time. i get the chills, i feel dizzy, and i am in agonizing pain. my mama thinks that it might possibly be an ulcer and / or stress-induced, and i'm inclined to believe her at this point. **not having a steady income and bills piling up has put an undo amount of stress on me lately.** i'm now just waiting to puke up blood before i pay out of pocket to see the doctor. hoping i get hired very quickly so i can go and have tests run or whatever it is that they are going to do. heaven knows i'd like one night of uninterrupted sleep!

what else, what else. oh . . . **i am selling a brand new 8x external DVD-RW from dell.** my beau needed to get a new laptop before heading to kuwait for a year because his is, well, a piece of crap. continuously freezing, shutting itself down, running slower than whatever runs slow in the first place. so we signed up for a dell account to get the computer for him. i needed an external DVD drive for my computer since i have this little tiny laptop and it doesn't have one. dell had their drives on sale, so i added that to the cart, along with a messenger bag for the laptop and an external hard drive, to put all my music on. somehow everything was shipped twice and i was charged twice on my card. when i called today to find out about returning everything (excluding the extra hard drive cuz my beau is keeping that for his new laptop so that he can have movies and music for his year in kuwait), the guy offered me a $40 credit on my account if i kept all the other stuff. the bag is really cute -- red and black -- and would be perfect for things other than a 9" screen laptop (so i am selling the second one of those, too) and the DVD-RW is still in the box. i paid $89 for it and am asking $60. so keep that in mind if you know anyone who might want it. and i am even willing to ship it to whomever buys it (keep that in mind, john and hayley). otherwise, ask around and see if you know anyone who wants either the bag or the DVD thing. i can provide pictures, should you want them. i'd post them now, however i haven't taken any and i'm being lazy and totally laying on the couch as i write this. so there.

can't think of anything else to write, really. i might try to take a quick power nap since last night was one of those nights where i was up sick for hours and i really didn't sleep well. once my beau gets home, we're going to dinner at mama's and then swimming afterwards:

**i sure hope that the water stays warm!**